Loneliness generates a vicious circle that constantly narrows, forcing us to be isolated.
Here’s how Dr. Cohen explains the behaviour of a lonely person:
“When we are lonely, we experience a kind of hunger: we constantly lack bioenergy resources. In such a situation, the brain begins to look for ways to limit the body’s energy consumption, so all you do is sleep and avoid what can cause you a stressful reaction. Thus, avoiding stress makes you isolate more and more.
When we are alone, the stakes increase, but all we do – we continue to make new demands on others, which we so desperately need. We need more and more evidence that these people will really be around. Thus, unreasonably high demands on people do not allow us to break out of the vicious circle of loneliness.
The second consequence of social exclusion is social awkwardness.
According to Dr. Cohen, it is characterised by the appearance of outbursts of anger, incorrect reading of social signals and, of course, difficulties in communication. Our social skills, like the muscles in the body, will atrophy if they are not used.
The New York Times article entitled “Now we are all socially awkward” notes that one of the signs of social awkwardness is excessive frankness during working video conferences, caused by the fact that we are eager to communicate and strive to be among people as soon as possible. When we finally find ourselves in society, we immediately want to escape.
Simone Han, “The Secret Epidemic of Loneliness: In Search of Lost Intimacy”
